Secret Agent Randy Beans

[[File:SLIPPERY NOODLE.png|alt=A declassified document from the CIA, hinting at Beans' association in CIA military operations. |thumb|A declassified document from the CIA, hinting at Beans' association in CIA military operations. Secret Agent Randy Beans is a former member of the CIA. While little is known about Beans’ career with the CIA, it is believed he started his service circa 1965 and eventually left the CIA circa September 2001. Because of the dates, it is believed Beans is responsible for providing intel to Osama Bin Laden for orchestrating the attack on the World Trade Center and was promptly fired soon after. In his later life, Beans has been involved in multiple drug cartels, working as a mule for El Chapo and providing weapons for Fidel Castro.
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In recent years, Beans has frequently collaborated with Edward Snowden, most notably in 2013 where the two worked to leaked over 1.7 million NSA documents regarding government surveillance. Beans has also had a rivalry with John Wick, a former assassin noted for his incredible skill and luck.

Operation Weans
Beans later teamed up with Wick in an operation known as Weans to steal thousands of credit card numbers. It is estimated that they successfully acquired over 1500 credit card numbers and PINs and ran one of the best nigerian phone scams in history. It is unknown how much money the Weans operation produced.